Movies for my Muse

I have to admit: post grad I mainly hid under a rock.  I didn’t go out and see movies as often as I wanted and my general interest in movies faded from my usual enthusiasm that existed in undergrad.  But two movies stood out to me artistically these past two years; Melancholia and I Am Love.  

Warning spoilers.

Melancholia

I saw Melancholia on my birthday at Violet Crown Cinema (a really great theatre in Austin, be sure to sit in front).  And after a year of really battling my own private storm, I felt a release after watching this movie.  This movie is incredibly beautiful while exploring paralyzing depression.  Maybe my muse just loves total destruction when it comes to endings I actually like.  My favorite ballet is La Bayadere because everyone dies at the end.  The ending for Melancholia was also incredibly satisfying to me.  And I’m so thankful I saw this movie in the theatre.  Both the visuals and the audio were designed to be seen in a big space.

I Am Love

When I was accepted into my first dance company, I rewarded myself by seeing this movie.  This film is not only beautiful with an amazing score from John Adams, it’s incredibly hopeful.  The main character Emma steps away from the life she has grown to expect into a life of possibility and personal truth.  Probably one of the scariest acts we can take in our life is to completely start over.  I loved it when I was young, but now that I’m older, starting over means a whole lot more than it used to.  There is more risk the older you get and leaving your childhood is not just an act of rebellion; it’s a redefinition in how you are going to live your life. The ending of I Am Love just hits you in the gut with John Adams’ score.  It’s a feeling I hope I can at least glimpse at choreographically.

I’m glad I saw both of these movies at big moments of my life.  In fact they helped make the moment bigger by seeing them and letting them sink into my musing.  I love that in both these movies, beauty is used as a medium to extend the story.  It’s something I want to pay more attention to in my own work.

The Monk is Moving to Cali

This will probably be the first of many announcements of my excellent news.  For five months, I worked my butt off to get into grad school so that I could pursue an MFA in dance.  After five letters of recommendation, four in-person auditions, and many force fed positive thoughts, I was accepted into Mills College.  My degree will have an emphasis in Choreography, which I’m incredibly excited about.

There is still so much work to do for this transition, but I do want to thank everyone who I told in confidence during the application process, for everyone who congratulated me after they learned the good news, and hell–fate itself.  There were times I just had to push through fear and doubt and just do what I absolutely had to do.

When I tell dancers I’m going to Mills, most know what I’m talking about and I get really positive responses:

That’s such a great school!

You’re going to love it!

What an amazing dance department.

But for readers who don’t know much about Mills, let me bring you a little up to speed.

Mills honestly didn’t come on my radar until I was looking into graduate programs.  Why?  Probably because every time I searched for a school, I was looking for a co-ed education.  The undergraduate program is still all women as it was originally established.  The graduate program is co-ed though.  Mills is in Oakland, California and was established in 1852; just five years after Otterbein was established.  The school is almost as old as the State of California itself.  The modern dance degree has been in existence since 1941.  Notable alumni from the Mills dance department include Molissa Fenley and Trisha Brown.

I have to admit: I’m too excited about this next adventure.  I have my first talk with my advisor next week.  I wish I could snap my fingers and instantly have my apartment picked, money acquired, scholarships found, etc, etc, etc.  But I didn’t get into Mills by snapping my fingers.  It’s going to take many baby steps to get me where I need to be.

90 Knots: A New Piece by Jennifer Sherburn

This Saturday, I’ll be performing for the third time for Jennifer Sherburn in her new piece “90 Knots.”  This piece is a part of the Fusebox Festival (an arts festival I unfortunately let pass by last year–oops!) as part of the Machine Shop series.  Check out this great photo from one of the dancers, Alex Miller:

Jennifer overall is expanding her art in a lot of ways, including raising money for her art and pinning down dates to really expand this grand vision of hers.  I had the pleasure of writing her a letter of support for her city arts funding packet, so here are some sections that I’d like to share:

I’m very proud to be working with Jennifer a third time in “90 Knots.”  Since I’ve worked with Jennifer for piece along similar idea paths, I’ve been able to see her ideas grow.  As a dancer, it feels like I have gone through pretending to be on a mountain to actually feeling like I am on a mountain.  Jennifer’s use of prop and set design are exceptional.

 

Jennifer as a choreographer is unique in the sense that she has a grand vision that she works very hard to make reality.  This mountain vision is so big that “90 Knots” is another work in progress, though it is the longest and thorough version of this piece that I’ve been involved in.  Jennifer doesn’t settle.

 

Recently, I had the opportunity to go to a fundraiser set up by Jennifer.  It was such a successful event.  Jennifer was able to find a restaurant to donate space, find donators for the silent auction and raffle, and get a good number of people to come to the event and donate.  I’m very impressed that Jennifer has paired with Spank Dance Company in order to make all donations tax deductible.  It shows that Jennifer has been around the block when it comes to financially funding her art.  I learned so much as an artist by going to this one fundraiser.

I’d love to see you come to this piece if you’re in town this Saturday.  It’s only $5 to see this half-hour piece at the Off Center at 8 pm.  Please come!

I am a very old monkey

My title today comes from Caroline Sutton Clark who taught a Butoh workshop this Sunday thanks to Ready/Set/Go.  The workshop was three hours long (probably one of the longest workshops I’ve been to post grad), but the length was perfect for the work we were doing.  I have done a Butoh workshop with Caroline before and it was much shorter and felt a little rushed.  This time, I really felt I could deeply go into the exercises presented to me.

What stood out to me during this workshop was the use of the imagination.  Caroline told us how there are four doors to reach coming into the present moment (an essential for Butoh); imagination, physical activity, seated meditation, and the fourth one slipped her mind at the time.  Imagination was front and center for me for this workshop.  In one exercise, I felt as if I had suddenly turned into a hermit crab.  I crouched down and started to snap in the air.  In another exercise, we were asked to hold a flower in our right hand, an umbrella in our left hand and a watermelon on our head.  The watermelon imagery made me move in ways I’ve never done before.  The watermelon was doing all the work.

If you want to see Butoh in Austin, stop by Salvage Vanguard Theatre the second Thursday of each month at 7pm.

Why a Monk?

When people first hear the name of my blog, sometimes they laugh.  I guess for many people, “monk” is a funny word, but it means something different to me.

When I truly decided I had to follow my creativity, I knew that it would be viewed as crazy, maybe not even rational.  But if I’m committed to creativity, I have to give as much as I want back–and I want a lot out of this creative life.  I also have to have a lot of trust in the spiritual world, the providers of the creative force.  This too can also appear as “craziness” to the outside world.

Does that mean that I should live in regret by doing what others deem as right when the voice inside tells me otherwise?  No.  Does that mean that I should doubt my abilities, my visions?  No.

I created this blog to remind myself of my commitment to creativity.

I openly ask the universe for what I want, because a lot of times, I am scared.  I do fear that it “won’t work out.”  But I can’t stop trusting in myself, in what guides me…that would be giving up.

Yes, it’s hard to tell the doubts to shut up.  But it’s a bigger disappointment to not even try.

This is why I call myself a monk of creativity.  I feel separated from the world sometimes, especially when I’m questioned on the things I do.  Sometimes I feel like I can’t be understood.  But creativity is my sanctuary.  It is my true footing and I can’t loose sight of that.

I wish you strength, dear readers.  Strength in your endeavors and in your dreams, which you can make into reality.

What the Footloose Remake Says on Our Current Culture

I recently watched the remake of Footloose staring Julianne Hough of Dancing with the Stars.

Personally, I greatly enjoyed this movie.  Granted I have a heavy biased towards the Footloose story in general.  I love the original movie (especially the “Angry Dance” by Kevin Bacon) and one of my first gigs in community theatre was in a production of Footloose, the Musical.  In fact, the movie was originally going to be the musical, but that was panned and replaced with a remake instead.  I’m glad it ended up like that; I think it reads better overall on film to just do a remake with basically the same script and some kick ass, updated dancing.  My favorite dance of the movie was to “Fake ID” where the characters escape to the big city to finally “cut loose.”

So why does the remake work?  Though it keeps the majority of the script, the parts where they do update the dialogue make a lot of sense for our current society.  We have been dealing with a recession since about 2008–and it’s changed all of us.  How many people my age are already married, or already have at least their first child?  When I was a kid in the 90′s and early 2000′s, I really didn’t expect that to be true.  I thought that was for more conservative cultures.  But it feels as if our culture as a whole has gotten a lot more conservative.  It’s as if the conservative come back and the recession has come hand in hand.  With the uncertainty of how most of us are going to pay our bills (especially our student debt), it makes sense that many of us would turn to the comfort of being joined with someone, or going back to old values that we maybe forgot during times of peace and prosperity in our country.  My siblings waited till their 30′s to start settling down with marriages and children.  Did my sisters feel any pressure to get married in their early 20′s?  I feel it every time I see another wedding photo on Facebook.  And I feel so conflicted because that pressure doesn’t match to the rest of my life.

The relationship between conservative values and the recession has been playing in my mind for a while, and this film really made me explore this dynamic again.  The recession is clearly stated in the script and the conservative values are rather a bit extreme of not letting kids dance, it makes sense since the parents of a small town are desperately trying to gain control on at least one part of their lives as another part (their finances) drifts further from their grasp.

Maybe these thoughts are too heavy for a dance movie, but I’m impressed that it brought it back to mind for me.  If you’re just interested in the dancing (and there’s nothing wrong with that), then check out this clip to see if this movie is right for you.

Listening to “Flipped Earth” in the office of Cafe Dance and feeling so peaceful and eternal…

Circuitous Presents “Flipped Earth” – a new company by Kate Warren

“When do you perform next?”

Friday, March 30th!  On that day, I’ll be reading my poetry, which will be presented with awesome dance.

So more about this awesome dancing you’ll see if you come.  Circuitous Dance is a new company made by Kate Warren.  She has a new model for her dance company which I find so intriguing.  Kate has a group of dancers for a whole three years.  No dancer leaves and no new dancers are brought on during the three year time period.  Then after the 3rd year is over, a new set of dancers join the company.

The piece I’ll be performing is titled “Leatrice,” named after my grandmother.  The title piece of Flipped Earth, the group piece of the company, is incredible.  I don’t want to talk it up too much as not to spoil it for you, but I will say, just in rehearsal, it knocked me off my socks.  These are going to be some pretty powerful performances and it would be a shame if you missed them.  Remember, Cafe Dance fills up fast, so do reserve in advance.  Details below!

Flipped Earth

Remember Your Worth

Tonight, I started just spilling of my frustrations.  It’s the week of the show and this is when the word vomit comes flying out, no matter how good things really are.  The littlest things can make one go off kilter.

But that’s okay because things really are good.  My future is looking down right kick ass, I’m about to gain transparency, and I’m helping a pretty amazing new company.  But the crappy parts of your day can affect you if you let them.  Some even erode at your soul after a period of time.  I picked out a few items from Marc and Angel Hack Life‘s list of things you shouldn’t tolerate:

2.  Work you don’t love

3.  Your own negativity

4.  Unnecessary miscommunication

5.  A disorganized living space

6.  Your own tardiness

8.  An unhealthy body

12.  Not getting enough sleep

14.  Personal greed

18.  An unsafe home [where you can't do laundry without paranoia]

19.  Being unprepared

20.  Inaction

In times of chaos and not being able to “get enough done,” I still can’t forget to treat myself with care.  I don’t deserve any in the above list and I’ll take it one step at a time to knock these items off my current list.

Sneak Peek

Curious about my next performance?

Circuitous

I’ve been working on a piece with Kate Warren based on a poem I wrote at Otterbein titled “Precious Pearl.” Melissa, a member of her new company, dances to my poem. The dance is titled “Leatrice.”

I don’t want to give too much away because I want you to come see it! So here’s how you do that:

Call or text Cafe Dance at 512-633-3525 to reserve your seat for “Flipped Earth.” Performance times are…

March 30 & 31 at 8 PM
April 1 at 1 PM

You really don’t want to miss this performance! And not just for the piece I’m involved in, but the other pieces as well. More information later this week.

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